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Swingin’ back slowly

I’ve been back for a couple days and I’m still trying to get used to what is my reality. For one thing, I experienced about a day of loneliness and it was more intense, I think, than how I felt when I first moved out in January. I’m not sure why, but it’s passed now and I’m feeling sort of “normal” again. Also, I haven’t been to the gym yet, and I feel like I’m wasting precious time because I only have 3 weeks before I have to take another week off to go to California. Obviously, I’m looking forward to that trip, but I don’t enjoy feeling disgusting and that is how I’ve felt for about two weeks now. It’s amazing how quickly all the progress I’ve made at the gym can disappear when I’m not in there regularly.

Anyway, I’ve basically been relaxing and slowly unpacking since I got back. I’ve watched a couple movies and about two weeks worth of TiVod stuff and I feel like I’m pretty much caught up. Things at work are going very well and it looks like I have another big project on the horizon. I’m looking forward to a change in the routine and this will give me an opportunity to learn some new skills and work with people I usually don’t see.

Possible topics abound

My time in Florida reminded me of how much I have learned since I moved out here to Texas. I’ve been living alone for about eight months now, and it’s been a great time for me to learn more about myself and figure out what I want out of life and all that. I will probably post more about this later, but this post is mostly designed to keep myself accountable so I will eventually write things down.

Generally, I’ve been having a great time of self-realization and I feel it’s a very important part of my growth as a person. I’m becoming much more comfortable with who I am and where I’m going. Hopefully, I’ll post more about this soon.

Also, I’ve been thinking a lot about the changes I experienced in college and it’s becoming clear to me that my experience was more typical than not. What I mean is that the emotions and experiences I had are probably common to most college kids as they move from freshman year to graduation and out into the real world. When I was experiencing them, I thought those emotions were unique, but I’m pretty sure I was experiencing a typical transition from college to actual life.

I’ve been thinking a lot about acting and how serious I really am about it. I’m realizing that I am serious about it and that I don’t want to be an engineer forever. Right now, I’m beyond questioning my commitment and I’m questioning my ability and potential. I have no doubt that I’m taking the correct steps to educate myself and gain experience as an actor, but I am seriously questioning whether I am actually capable of acting well enough to make a good living at it.

I need sleep. Hopefully I’ll be able to write more about each of these topics later.

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Florida: Days 9 through 11

Well, my last few days in Florida were relaxing, but fun. On Friday, we went out to Newberry for a baby-back-ribs fix and then watched Miami beat FSU again. Obviously, I take great pleasure in seeing the ‘Noles beaten again and it was even better that FSU could’ve iced the game with a late fieldgoal if only it hadn’t been blocked. Before the game, I predicted they’d go for something new and different since “wide left” and “wide right” were becoming sort of cliche. They didn’t disappoint.

Saturday, I went to the first Gator football game of the year and it was a route, just as everyone expected. I actually left near the end of the third quarter because we’d already been there about four hours thanks to a rain delay. We ended up winning 49-10 and, although we didn’t look perfect, all of the problems I saw can definitely be corrected by some well used practice time this week. I can’t wait for the Tennessee game on Saturday night.

Sunday, I went to church and then packed up and started heading home. A couple of my friends in Gainesville took me to Starke (half-way between Gainesville and Jacksonville) to eat lunch at Sonny’s and then they passed me off to another friend who got me the rest of the way to the airport. My flight home was uneventful (my favorite adjective for describing plane rides) and I got in about 9:30 last night. Since then, I’ve been laying around feeling absolutely exhausted and trying to get some things done around my apartment.

I’m really surprised how tired I am and I hope I’m ready for work tomorrow. I just realized that, before my 11 day trip, I worked 16 of 17 days consecutively and the last 4 days before I left were jammed with shopping and last minute preparation. Basically, I’ve been going for 3 weeks straight and I’m looking forward to doing nothing this week.

Acting trudging along

Since my coach left for LA and I’ve been out of town, I haven’t been working nearly as hard on my acting as I would like to be. I’ve been doing a little reading, but I haven’t been practicing, training or signing up for showcases and such as I should be. I feel like a real slacker. I guess the good news is that in three weeks I’m headed to L.A. for five days and part of that time will be spent getting my stuff together for acting. I’ll be getting headshots, meeting with my coach and hopefully doing a little networking. I really need to turn up the heat and get serious and I’m starting to feel a sense of urgency. Mostly, I feel I should always be moving forward and I haven’t been doing that lately (at least not at a pace I’d like).

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Florida: Days 6 through 8

Well, power was restored here a couple days ago and we finally got cable/internet back up today. This trip has been a lot different than my last trip because it’s basically been about seeing people and spending time with them. Usually, I spend time with people by getting a meal with them. My routine has been to wake up around 10:30, go to lunch with someone around noon, then come home and nap or whatever, then go to dinner with someone else (usually a group) around 6:00 or so, then hang out and play cards or something till around 2 AM.

Last time I was here, I spent more time playing frisbee golf and basketball and stuff like that. Ironically, though the two trips are a lot different, they’re very similar in that my goal is to spend as much time with my friends as possible. Last time, it worked out so I was playing sports with them; this time, I have spent my time just sitting around and eating with them. Both experiences have been equally fulfilling.

Last night, I went to a Crusade meeting and I was really impressed with how well it went. The emcees were great and the meeting flowed smoothly and was effective. I enjoyed it and I had a great time seeing everyone while I was there.

Tonight, I’m getting the crew together to head out to Newberry for Newberry Backyard BBQ–the best babyback ribs I’ve ever had. Then, we’re going to come back here and watch the FSU vs. Miami game. Hopefully, FSU will lose by a field goal. I guess the only thing better than that would be if they lost by a field goal that was allowed by some ridiculous oversight by the ref’s.

Only a few more days and I’m headed back to Texas. Looks like I’ll be traveling a lot over the next few months: First week in October, I’m going to be in LA; Third week in October, I’ll be in LA; Thanksgiving, I’ll be in Florida; Christmas, I’ll be in Florida and Atlanta. All this traveling is already putting a huge damper on my workout schedule. It’s a hard-knock life.

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Florida: Days 3 through 5

Well, hurricane Frances has come and gone… and where I’m staying, the power is gone as well. I’ve had a great time over the past few days, but we haven’t had power and it’s been difficult getting around town and sleeping because I don’t sleep well in the heat. All my clothes are perpetually damp because we’re at around 100% humidity and we have to keep the windows open to keep the house from getting too stuffy.

I’ve played poker a couple times since I got here and I’ve been doing well. I had lunch with a good friend today and we had an awesome conversation that I’ll mull over for a while, I’m sure. Mostly, I’ve just been hanging with friends, playing cards and goofing off. This isn’t how I would’ve planned my vacation in Florida, but I can’t say it’s disappointing at all. I’m really enjoying my time and I’m glad I have several days left here.

I’m sure it’ll only get better. Hopefully, I’ll have more to write about over the next few days, but I think things might keep being sort of uneventful yet fulfilling.

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Florida: Days 1 and 2 Well, my plane ride in was uneventful and quick. My only beef was that the A/C on the plane was weak and it was freakin’ hot the whole way to Florida. The hurricane has been a non-factor so far in my trip. Some friends picked me up at the airport and we immediately headed for Outback for some Cheesefries and a Special. We spent the rest of the evening relaxing and talking. Friday, I spent the day with my family (as is my tradition when I come back this way). I had some great conversations and spent quality time with my parents and the rest of my family. At night, a couple of my buddies drove up from Gainesville and picked me up. We headed back to G-ville and played some poker till about 5 AM. That’s about it so far. We’re headed out to lunch pretty soon.

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Inside the Actor’s Studio: Harrison Ford

I’ve seen many episodes of this show, but Harrison Ford’s interview is up at the top of the list as far as content and honesty. I have learned little things from others’ interviews, but it seemed like almost everything he had to say was something I could use as I pursue acting as a career. Ultimately, I think the thing that floored me most was his humility, a characteristic not often demonstrated by actors and others in ‘the business’.

This one’s under ‘Keep until I delete’ on my TiVo.

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Gettin’ ready for vacation

I haven’t had much going on lately because, in one way or another, I’ve been constantly preparing to go to Florida. I spent 8 hours at ‘the office’ (or ‘my cubicle’) this weekend and I’ve been trying to get everything done that I need done before I go: finish my workout cycle, get in some cardio, buy luggage, buy other clothes and stuff, etc. I leave Thursday afternoon and that leaves less than four days to tie up all loose ends and get ready to leave Texas for 10 days.

Pencil me in

I’m already trying to set up appointments, dinners and the like with my friends in Gainesville. While I’m a big fan of living on the fly, sometimes it’s necessary to intentionally set time up to spend with people, especially when I know they may or may not be hanging around where I am. Of course, I’m already looking forward to making a trip (or two?) to Newberry Backyard BBQ, Leonardo’s (deep dish pizza), Burrito Bros., Mellow Mushroom, and probably a bunch of other places around Gainesville. Anyway, I haven’t posted much lately because I’ve basically been preparing to leave. I know it sounds a little ludicrous to spend a week preparing to go on a 10-day vacation, but I like to get things done right and this is how I do that.

Braum’s

All this time in Texas and I’d never gone to Braum’s until today. I decided to drop in and try a shake because a buddy of mine at the gym said they’re pretty good. Turns out he was right. I went with the old standby (for me): strawberry. It was thick, filling and super tasty. I may’ve found a new vice.

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Lookin’ up

In my last post, I mentioned I’d tried online poker and hadn’t done so well. After I played those SNGs, I decided to try Low-Limit (or really Micro-Limit) Hold ’em ($.25/.50). I didn’t do so hot at first, but after losing the first couple times I played, I’ve been winning and I should be recovering the bit I lost on the SNGs to begin with.

I’ve decided the SNG strategy was a bad one and I need to stick with Limit Hold ’em for a while. Limit is simpler and will protect me from bad beats more than No Limit or the SNGs would. Obviously, I’m playing super low limits and I hope to move up to $.50/1 in a week or so. Slow and steady…

Fantasy Football a reality?

My buddy called and asked if I wanted to be in a Fantasy Football League and, because I’m stupid, I said I’d do it. We had our draft tonight and I guess my picks were ok, but we won’t know anything until they start playin’ the games. I’m only mildly interested in the NFL, but I’m very interested in college football. Florida’s first game is less than two weeks away and I’m hoping to be there. Anyway, maybe I’ll do alright in Fantasy, but I don’t plan on putting too much work into it.

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Things are about to change

I got a call from my acting coach tonight and, apparently, he’s heading out to L.A. for the next three months. I didn’t get all the details, but it’s obvious that my weekly lesson will be sporadic at best and non-existent at worst. In all, I think it’s great news because I’m convinced he’ll be very successful in that market and I’m excited to see where this move will take his career.

Of course, I’ve already started thinking about what this means for me and my preparation (always lookin’ out for good ol’ #1, I guess), but I really have no idea what’s gonna’ happen. Fortunately, I know I’ll be keeping in touch with my coach and he’ll be able to help guide me and keep me moving in the right direction. I feel like this is a good time for this transition because we had gotten to a point where I felt I was understanding the fundamentals and things were about to shift anyway. We were beginning to talk about getting an agent and starting to actually work in the business rather than only learning about it. Though I’m sure this will be difficult, I know this is probably the best time for me to make this particular transition.

The thing that scares me most is my fear of the unknown. When I’m trying new things (like, say, performing a monologue in front of a bunch of strangers or shopping my headshot and resume around to local agencies), I often allow my fear to slow me down and force me to procrastinate. I don’t know why I allow this to happen because, almost inevitably, I try whatever this new thing is and I succeed without much hardship. I am confident this will be similar (I have to be confident or I’ll be eaten alive by this business), but I hope I can bypass the fear-and-procrastination phase of this new thing.

Mostly, I just have to realize that I’ve been well prepared for this market and I simply have to ante up and play. I know what I need to do and, especially after my last lesson (for a while) on Thursday, I’ll have a time-line for the next few months. Somehow, I have to run headlong into this new phase and just continue moving forward. Time is very precious right now and I can’t afford to waste any.

One other very positive thing about my coach going to L.A. is that I feel like he’ll be able to give me very specific information on the market and the business out there right now, real time. I still plan on moving out there (probably within a year) and it’ll be great to have someone who’s gone ahead of me to tell me what to expect and help me avoid pitfalls and silly mistakes. Though such an abrupt and unexpected transition makes me nervous, I can’t help but think this must be a blessing in disguise. The more I think about it, the more this seems like a very positive thing. And, coming from a dude who ain’t exactly the consummate optimist, that’s pretty comforting.

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Coasting along

I haven’t posted much recently because I haven’t done much recently. My basketball team played our 7th and final game of the season on Wednesday and we won by about 20. I probably played my best game at Point Guard, although I didn’t have many points to prove it (I think I finished with 7). Our team played well and it’ll be interesting to see how we do in the playoffs starting Wednesday. Fortunately, our first game is against another team that we beat by 20 (and they ran 10 guys to our 6), so hopefully we’ll win again and continue working on a team strategy that will work for us. So far, it seems to work with me at Point because I do a good job of bringing the ball up, but also because it allows the other guys to play in the positions where they’re most comfortable (wings and post).

Online Poker

Next week, I’ll probably start playing a little poker online for real money. I think I’ll initially stick to playing “Sit N Gos”, which are basically one- or two-table tournaments where the top four places finish in the money. Because I feel more comfortable and confident in tournaments, I figure I’ll start with these to build up my bankroll before I start playing cash games. Above all, I’ll be playing only with the money I’ve put into my account for the next month. In a month, I’ll evaluate and decide where to go from there. If I’m up, I’ll just keep playing online. If I’ve lost the cash I allotted myself, I’ll have to decide whether to try again or find another hobby.