Swingin’ back slowly
I’ve been back for a couple days and I’m still trying to get used to what is my reality. For one thing, I experienced about a day of loneliness and it was more intense, I think, than how I felt when I first moved out in January. I’m not sure why, but it’s passed now and I’m feeling sort of “normal” again. Also, I haven’t been to the gym yet, and I feel like I’m wasting precious time because I only have 3 weeks before I have to take another week off to go to California. Obviously, I’m looking forward to that trip, but I don’t enjoy feeling disgusting and that is how I’ve felt for about two weeks now. It’s amazing how quickly all the progress I’ve made at the gym can disappear when I’m not in there regularly.
Anyway, I’ve basically been relaxing and slowly unpacking since I got back. I’ve watched a couple movies and about two weeks worth of TiVod stuff and I feel like I’m pretty much caught up. Things at work are going very well and it looks like I have another big project on the horizon. I’m looking forward to a change in the routine and this will give me an opportunity to learn some new skills and work with people I usually don’t see.
Possible topics abound
My time in Florida reminded me of how much I have learned since I moved out here to Texas. I’ve been living alone for about eight months now, and it’s been a great time for me to learn more about myself and figure out what I want out of life and all that. I will probably post more about this later, but this post is mostly designed to keep myself accountable so I will eventually write things down.
Generally, I’ve been having a great time of self-realization and I feel it’s a very important part of my growth as a person. I’m becoming much more comfortable with who I am and where I’m going. Hopefully, I’ll post more about this soon.
Also, I’ve been thinking a lot about the changes I experienced in college and it’s becoming clear to me that my experience was more typical than not. What I mean is that the emotions and experiences I had are probably common to most college kids as they move from freshman year to graduation and out into the real world. When I was experiencing them, I thought those emotions were unique, but I’m pretty sure I was experiencing a typical transition from college to actual life.
I’ve been thinking a lot about acting and how serious I really am about it. I’m realizing that I am serious about it and that I don’t want to be an engineer forever. Right now, I’m beyond questioning my commitment and I’m questioning my ability and potential. I have no doubt that I’m taking the correct steps to educate myself and gain experience as an actor, but I am seriously questioning whether I am actually capable of acting well enough to make a good living at it.
I need sleep. Hopefully I’ll be able to write more about each of these topics later.