Seventh Meisner class: Revisited

So, everyone was there this time, including a sincerely apologetic instructor. Everything was cool until the class actually began. I was so flat… I was so flat I can’t even think of a cheesy analogy to describe it. I was awful and everyone knew it, especially me. I had no energy, probably because I’d worked nine hours the day after I worked 12 hours two days after I worked 8 hours and spent 3 hours driving downtown and back for no reason. That run-on sentence is symbolic of how run-down I was.

No matter how much I wanted to, I couldn’t give any energy to what I was doing. I was in a grumpy mood and my instructor’s fairly abrasive teaching style didn’t ameliorate that in the least. Long story short, I spent two hours watching the clock and counting seconds. Finally, it was over and I went home, knowing how bad that just was.

There’s good news and bad news. The bad news is I have another class and I’m not looking forward to struggling through it. The good news is I’m starting to feel a little spark. That spark is telling me that I’ll have the day off work when we meet again and that I should have tons of energy. That spark is telling me I can perform well, even if I don’t particularly enjoy the exercises. That spark is telling me it’s time to do or die, in the basketball parlance that I grew up with.

Now what?

My confidence has been shattered lately: I didn’t book Noon Preview though I was essentially told I had; I’ve been seriously struggling just to make it two hours each session in this Meisner class; I couldn’t even find the stupid Noon Preview when I tried to go today. I’m beginning to question my ridiculous decision to forsake engineering for a career in acting.

But then I think how far I’ve come, even in the last month. I’ve gotten headshots, gone out on my first audition (and felt really comfortable doing it), taken a super difficult class and gotten myself in a position to start sending out mailers to agents and film schools. It’s very possible I’ll be represented early next year and I could be working. I know I have to give this thing time and muster all the patience I can.

I get a break this week as I head home to Florida for Thanksgiving. I’m going back to LA for a few days early in December. I get almost 3 weeks off for Christmas. I should be very refreshed in January and then I’ll be ready to roll. Right now, I just need confidence. I need the confidence necessary to ‘get out of my head’ and succeed in my final Meisner class. I need the confidence to find an agent and start working. I need the endurance to keep pursuing acting and working full time.

I needed a pep-talk and who better to give it than me?


Seventh Meisner class

I’m not a happy camper tonight. I drove down to my class, which was inconveniently rescheduled to 4pm Downtown (I work over 35 miles north of Downtown) only to find that our instructor didn’t show up. Sooo, after sitting around for 40 minutes, I got back in my car and drove home… at 5pm in rush hour traffic. All told, I wasted 3 hours today, driving to nothing at rush hour.

Also, I will be given the option to make up the class some time in the near future. Problem is I took this particular class because it coincided exactly with the window when I would be in town (as opposed to traveling for Thanksgiving, work or Christmas). So, to reschedule will be very difficult and maybe impossible.

Of course the worst part is I’ve been anticipating the end of this class because I’m just not loving it. I’m not too happy about it taking longer than I thought it would.

End rant.