Seventh Meisner class: Revisited

So, everyone was there this time, including a sincerely apologetic instructor. Everything was cool until the class actually began. I was so flat… I was so flat I can’t even think of a cheesy analogy to describe it. I was awful and everyone knew it, especially me. I had no energy, probably because I’d worked nine hours the day after I worked 12 hours two days after I worked 8 hours and spent 3 hours driving downtown and back for no reason. That run-on sentence is symbolic of how run-down I was.

No matter how much I wanted to, I couldn’t give any energy to what I was doing. I was in a grumpy mood and my instructor’s fairly abrasive teaching style didn’t ameliorate that in the least. Long story short, I spent two hours watching the clock and counting seconds. Finally, it was over and I went home, knowing how bad that just was.

There’s good news and bad news. The bad news is I have another class and I’m not looking forward to struggling through it. The good news is I’m starting to feel a little spark. That spark is telling me that I’ll have the day off work when we meet again and that I should have tons of energy. That spark is telling me I can perform well, even if I don’t particularly enjoy the exercises. That spark is telling me it’s time to do or die, in the basketball parlance that I grew up with.

Now what?

My confidence has been shattered lately: I didn’t book Noon Preview though I was essentially told I had; I’ve been seriously struggling just to make it two hours each session in this Meisner class; I couldn’t even find the stupid Noon Preview when I tried to go today. I’m beginning to question my ridiculous decision to forsake engineering for a career in acting.

But then I think how far I’ve come, even in the last month. I’ve gotten headshots, gone out on my first audition (and felt really comfortable doing it), taken a super difficult class and gotten myself in a position to start sending out mailers to agents and film schools. It’s very possible I’ll be represented early next year and I could be working. I know I have to give this thing time and muster all the patience I can.

I get a break this week as I head home to Florida for Thanksgiving. I’m going back to LA for a few days early in December. I get almost 3 weeks off for Christmas. I should be very refreshed in January and then I’ll be ready to roll. Right now, I just need confidence. I need the confidence necessary to ‘get out of my head’ and succeed in my final Meisner class. I need the confidence to find an agent and start working. I need the endurance to keep pursuing acting and working full time.

I needed a pep-talk and who better to give it than me?


Florida: Days 9 through 11

Well, my last few days in Florida were relaxing, but fun. On Friday, we went out to Newberry for a baby-back-ribs fix and then watched Miami beat FSU again. Obviously, I take great pleasure in seeing the ‘Noles beaten again and it was even better that FSU could’ve iced the game with a late fieldgoal if only it hadn’t been blocked. Before the game, I predicted they’d go for something new and different since “wide left” and “wide right” were becoming sort of cliche. They didn’t disappoint.

Saturday, I went to the first Gator football game of the year and it was a route, just as everyone expected. I actually left near the end of the third quarter because we’d already been there about four hours thanks to a rain delay. We ended up winning 49-10 and, although we didn’t look perfect, all of the problems I saw can definitely be corrected by some well used practice time this week. I can’t wait for the Tennessee game on Saturday night.

Sunday, I went to church and then packed up and started heading home. A couple of my friends in Gainesville took me to Starke (half-way between Gainesville and Jacksonville) to eat lunch at Sonny’s and then they passed me off to another friend who got me the rest of the way to the airport. My flight home was uneventful (my favorite adjective for describing plane rides) and I got in about 9:30 last night. Since then, I’ve been laying around feeling absolutely exhausted and trying to get some things done around my apartment.

I’m really surprised how tired I am and I hope I’m ready for work tomorrow. I just realized that, before my 11 day trip, I worked 16 of 17 days consecutively and the last 4 days before I left were jammed with shopping and last minute preparation. Basically, I’ve been going for 3 weeks straight and I’m looking forward to doing nothing this week.

Acting trudging along

Since my coach left for LA and I’ve been out of town, I haven’t been working nearly as hard on my acting as I would like to be. I’ve been doing a little reading, but I haven’t been practicing, training or signing up for showcases and such as I should be. I feel like a real slacker. I guess the good news is that in three weeks I’m headed to L.A. for five days and part of that time will be spent getting my stuff together for acting. I’ll be getting headshots, meeting with my coach and hopefully doing a little networking. I really need to turn up the heat and get serious and I’m starting to feel a sense of urgency. Mostly, I feel I should always be moving forward and I haven’t been doing that lately (at least not at a pace I’d like).