Second Meisner class
This one, while more emotionally and physically draining, was much better overall and I feel like I made a lot of progress from Monday to today. Monday, we started with the repetition exercise and we’ve since been adding levels to the same exercise. As I understand it, this is really the core of Meisner and I expect we’ll be doing it throughout the course.
Tonight, we were to bring in something to ‘do’ that fulfilled three criteria: It had to have personal significance, had to be done under tight time constraints and it had to be difficult. I brought in my guitar and tried to re-string it. It was right on for difficulty, but the time constraint and personal significance had to be embellished. Basically, I ended up trying to restring my guitar while my girlfriend broke up with me and the lead singer of a band yelled at me–the roadie–to get his guitar ready ASAP.
Anyway, I felt a lot more comfortable tonight and I was surprised by the spectrum of emotions I experienced. In general, I’m pretty even keeled, so busting through several emotions in a short period of time was really exhausting for me.
Anyway, hopefully I’ll sleep better tonight than I did on Monday.
Since my move, I’ve thought a lot about my future. Specifically, I’ve thought about who I will (or won’t) be spending it with. I mean, I guess for most people, marriage is an inevitable part of the plan. For some, it’s a five-year plan, for some a ten-year plan, for some an ASAP-plan. I’ve been realizing that I’m probably on the 10-year-plus plan because I’m just not comfortable with my future–where I’ll be, what I’ll be, who I’ll be–and I don’t see any sense in adding another person into the already confused mix.
That said, I was workin’ out today (I don’t have much to do but think while I’m workin’ out) and I realized that, somewhere out there, there’s a girl who, with one look, could completely obliterate my 10-year-plus (not) plan. I mean, I don’t really have any grandiose picture of who I’ll be (although I’m leaving my options open and I’m always up for suggestions), but right now I’m very comfortable with the idea that I could be romantically alone for the next several years–I’m actually kind of looking forward to it–but I am also realizing that I could be put in a situation where I meet a girl and have no alternative but to think, “Yeah… I’m supposed to marry her.”
I guess I was just struck by how fragile something as big as a “future” can be. I might think I’ve got me some plans, ideas, hopes and all that, but it wouldn’t take much to force me to scrap it and start in a whole new direction. For now, I’m really happy with the vague direction I’m headed in, and no, I didn’t have anyone in mind when I wrote this.