Since my move, I’ve thought a lot about my future. Specifically, I’ve thought about who I will (or won’t) be spending it with. I mean, I guess for most people, marriage is an inevitable part of the plan. For some, it’s a five-year plan, for some a ten-year plan, for some an ASAP-plan. I’ve been realizing that I’m probably on the 10-year-plus plan because I’m just not comfortable with my future–where I’ll be, what I’ll be, who I’ll be–and I don’t see any sense in adding another person into the already confused mix.
That said, I was workin’ out today (I don’t have much to do but think while I’m workin’ out) and I realized that, somewhere out there, there’s a girl who, with one look, could completely obliterate my 10-year-plus (not) plan. I mean, I don’t really have any grandiose picture of who I’ll be (although I’m leaving my options open and I’m always up for suggestions), but right now I’m very comfortable with the idea that I could be romantically alone for the next several years–I’m actually kind of looking forward to it–but I am also realizing that I could be put in a situation where I meet a girl and have no alternative but to think, “Yeah… I’m supposed to marry her.”
I guess I was just struck by how fragile something as big as a “future” can be. I might think I’ve got me some plans, ideas, hopes and all that, but it wouldn’t take much to force me to scrap it and start in a whole new direction. For now, I’m really happy with the vague direction I’m headed in, and no, I didn’t have anyone in mind when I wrote this.