My last night in Plano, TX

Well, after about two years and nine months, I’m leaving Plano to head back east. I’m mostly excited and a little sad to be leaving, but I think all the sad will be gone in the next couple days. I have been feeling very melancholy for a few days, but I think it’s mostly been due to my innate resistance to change and my fear of the unknown. Although I didn’t like it much, I have spent a couple years here making a life for myself and I’m about to leave that life for another. Intellectually, I know this is the best thing I could do; but emotionally, I feel like I’m giving up, like I’ve some how been defeated.

Of course, this is nonsense as defeat implies some enemy, which I don’t have. And I’m not giving up, but fed up and seeking something more fulfilling. I can’t wait to be near my family and friends, to find a church, to not spend most nights planted on my couch. It’ll be nice to have other peoples’ couches as options, too.

Two and a half years ago, I had dreams of becoming an actor, and I won’t concede that those dreams are dead. For now, I feel more inspired to pursue writing, but I haven’t closed the book on acting. As I move back to Gainesville, I’m not going to make any predictions about what I will or won’t do in the future. That being said, I do have some goals: write something meaningful, win a major poker tournament, find a fulfilling career path, and a few others which I can’t really articulate. For now, I’m just focusing on the present as I want to be sure I make this transition as smooth as possible.

I’ve spent the last several days tying up loose ends and seeking closure. I think I’ve done pretty well and I don’t anticipate feeling that I have any unfinished business out here in Texas. I’ve tried to go to all my favorite spots, see all my friends and say goodbye to acquaintances. Most importantly, I’ve reflected on my time here and how it’s affected me as a person. I have a very clear picture of who I was when I got here and who I am as I leave. I’m very pleased with how my time here has gone, and I’m anxiously anticipating the next phase of my life.

Au revoir, Texas. Au revoir.



Some friends of mine have a website where they post updates submitted by alumni from those who’ve been involved in Campus Crusade for Christ at the University of Florida. I’m about to send in my update and I thought it would be appropriate to post here as a summary of where I am and where I eventually hope to be. I think it’s hokey and It’s mostly rehashing what I’ve already written here, but it’s a good summary nonetheless:

Hello friends and fellow Gator alumni!

I finally graduated from UF in December with a BSEE and a BSCEN (Electrical Engineering and Computer Engineering) and quickly moved out to Plano, TX to start working for Raytheon Company. I was a co-op with Raytheon in Summer ’01 and again in Summer ’02, so I am familiar with the company and this area–Dallas, TX. I’m still getting settled in–I’m writing this from my computer chair, but using my TV as a monitor and my lap as a keyboard tray–but the Lord has been faithful to provide me with many strong friendships both back in Gainesville and here in Texas. Those friendships have kept me grounded, encouraged and probably a bit in denial as I don’t think I’ve realized the gravity of this huge transition.

I plan to continue working for Raytheon for at least a few more years as I pay back the Fed for all the money I borrowed in my half-decade stint as a poor, pasta-eating college kid. While I’m working, I hope to earn an AA in Acting for the Camera (no, I’m not kidding) so that I can eventually move out of the world of engineering and big business and into the world of cinema and television. If all goes according to plan-and, of course, I doubt that it will–I hope to move out to El Segundo, CA (a few minutes south of L.A.) and continue working part-time for Raytheon as I try to delve into the world of acting.

I realize that I sound pretty confident in what I’m writing, but the truth is I couldn’t be more terrified and I am constantly seeing more of a necessity to depend on the Lord for my future. I don’t feel that I would be happy doing engineering for the rest of my life, but I also understand how difficult it is to be a Christian in profession such as acting. I find great motivation and inspiration in Mel Gibson and Jim Caviezel’s project The Passion and I hope to have even a fraction of its impact in the business.

Of course, this is all pending His blessing, so I’ll continue in this direction until He either closes the door or pushes me through it. I’ve been keeping a weblog for a couple years now and I’ll continue updating it in the future for those of you who may be more curious than a yearly update can satisfy. Soon, I’ll be moving the weblog over to as I get more organized here in Texas.

I hope you are all well.