in Ramblings

Get free updates of new posts here

Being self aware

I few weeks ago, I wrote about how I’ve been experiencing a time of self-realization. I guess that time started in January when I moved to Texas, but it’s hard to say. Mostly, I think this is attributable to my living situation. Since I’ve been living alone, I’ve had nothing but time on my hands and I’ve found that I spend a lot of that time thinking. Sometimes I think out loud, sometimes I write things down, sometimes I just sit and think.

But most of that thought has been me finding out more about myself. I’ve spent a lot of my time working through things I’ve believed for a long time. Really, I’ve taken time to scrutinize those beliefs, so I understand them better and I’m more confident in what I believe and who I am.

I guess part of this process culminated on Friday when I went to see Garden State again. It sounds silly, but going to see a movie alone was a big deal for me, and I think it was a pretty big step that I needed to take toward being a confident actor. Really, going to see a movie had nothing to do with that so much as the fact that I did something that has been so far out of my comfort zone for so long.

I’ve also been intent on continually learning. Mostly, I’ve been studying acting, but I’ve also been studying cinema and poker and reading books by Christian authors. Earlier, I was talking to a friend and she mentioned that she’s been learning a lot lately. It hit me that if I’m not learning something, I feel like I’m just sort of wasting away, standing still. Turns out that, lately, the biggest thing I’ve been learning about is me.

Write a Comment