in Ramblings

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Unrequited love

It seems to me that unrequited love may be one of the most intense feelings there is. Although intangible, it seems to be a real force that should be respected and is best understood only through objectivity. Obviously, I know what I’m talking about. As a sometime reveler in more platonic relationships than real ones, I know that this phenomenon is at once liberating and confusing. On one hand, it allows us to act freely while explaining our behavior with conveniently elusive nonsense such as “You wouldn’t understand.” On the other hand, it drags us from our cozy little cocoons and out into the forest, where we’re vulnerable, naive and driven to stupidity.

But the best part of unrequited and platonic love is how ridiculously transparent it is to every human being except the one experiencing it. Of course I know I couldn’t be writing this right now if I was deeply involved in a platonic relationship, but I’m experiencing a between-crush moment of clarity. Unfortunately, it seems that the “between-crush” portions of my life seem to be blending into one long “non-crush” lifestyle. I often wonder if I’ve simply given up, or if maybe Cupid has seen his folly and abandoned me completely. More often, I wonder what sort of ludicrous odds must describe the chances I’ll find another crush, she’ll actually reciprocate, and I won’t prove to be either totally undesirable or absolutely insane.

This blog is turning into a real downer.

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