I’m afraid Barnes & Noble is my new money pit

I went there looking for the screenplay for The Royal Tenenbaums and, since it wasn’t in and they had to order it for me, I decided to peruse their Film/TV section to see if there were any books that might help me understand screenwriting a bit better. Of course they did, so I grabbed four books off of the shelf and wandered around the store until I found an empty chair to claim. I scanned and gleaned for a bit and decided on one book, The Screenwriter’s Problem Solver–How to Recognize, Identify, And Define Screenwriting Problems by Syd Field. From what I understand, Syd Field is considered a guru of screenwriting and he’s been in the business quite a while.

As I read the first chapter of his book, I was stunned by the sheer coincidence of my recent screenplay hangups and his descriptions of common problems; it was as though he snuck a peak at my mental-frustrations log and stole all of them for his book. It didn’t take me but about five minutes to decide Syd was getting my money, so I headed to the register and paid the lady with the Barnes & Noble card hung around her neck. I then proceeded to my second money pit, Starbucks, and bought a grande Mocha Coconut Frappuccino, decaf, and found a table by the window. I ended up reading the first three chapters and I can already tell this will be a good investment of fifteen bucks (well, nineteen bucks if you count the four bucks I dropped on my frappuccino).

So, I’ll be getting the screenplay for The Royal Tenenbaums in a few days and I’ll probably knock that out pretty quickly. I figured since I’m writing a dark comedy, I should read one to get a feel for the genre from a writer’s perspective. This may be a premature observation, but I’m pretty sure this screenwriting thing’s gonna’ stick. A friend of mine who read some dialogue I wrote for the character inspired by a lunch-time conversation between some of my co-workers yesterday said she actually laughed out loud as she realized what the character was up to; that was encouraging. I’ve got quite a few people taking a look at this little piece of dialogue just because I want to make sure it’s actually interesting and funny to people other than myself. I figure it’s different with a drama because drama is easier to map and analyze for content and flow. Comedy is a bit different because it doesn’t necessarily depend on flow and feeling so much as it depends on content and delivery. Flow and feeling should follow the content based on the desired cathartic effect.

I’m making some solid progress on Catch-22 as I’m rounding the three-hundred-page bend. I should finish it up pretty soon. Maybe I’ll write a review of it when I’m finished, if I can carve out the time, motivation and inspiration to write something decent on the subject.

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I didn’t really do anything today. That’s alright with me because I actually prefer to have nothing but downtime in my life. Of course, a life of downtime doesn’t easily yield itself to any uptimes, so I guess I have to branch out on occasion and do something productive. I’m actually a very lazy person, I just try and cover it up with activity. Anyway, I read another chapter in Catch-22 today and that was pretty good. I really appreciate Joseph Heller’s writing. It’s very clear that he’s experienced the subject matter he discusses in his book. I mean, yeah it’s fiction, but it’s a fictional writing of his real-life experience. I think the biggest draw to me is that every sentence is dripping with sarcasm, innuendo and ambiguity. It’s beautiful.

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Back to Starbucks and Barnes & Noble

After dinner this evening, I decided to head back to the comfort and quietude of the bookstore to get some more work done on my screenplay. Not only was I able to read another twenty or so pages in Catch-22, but I managed to make some good progress on the ideology behind my script. It’s gradually moving from a pure drama to a comedic drama–that’s a little more my speed, I think. I was getting frustrated because I just don’t know if I can write 120 pages of straight drama without some sort of sarcasm, silliness or satire along the way. I think this will be better because it will allow me to dig deep into the human condition without emotionally exhausting the audience half way through the film.

I also called a couple places about acting lessons today. Looks like it costs a mere $425 for 8 weeks of lessons (two hours a week). I still need to call another place back and get the skinny on their classes. Of course the thing I fear is that I’ll sign up with some crackpot agency that doesn’t know the difference between acting and changing a flat-tire, but I guess that’s a risk that ignorant people in situations such as these must take.

On a totally unrelated but equally boring note, I got a haircut today and, as usual, it’s not satisfactory. Only four to six weeks until I get another go!

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Experience the hilarity with me

Here are some of my favorite lines from Catch-22 thus far. I guess it may help to have some background on the characters saying these things, but ultimately, the reader is afforded very little background on the characters and more insight into how their minds work. Anyway, these made me laugh out loud as I read them:

Excerpt 1:
“Sure, that’s what I mean,” Doc Daneeka said. “A little grease is what makes this world go round. One hand washes the other. Know what I mean? You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.”
Yossarian knew what he meant.
“That’s not what I mean,” Doc Daneeka said as Yossarian began scratching his back. “I’m talking about cooperation. Favors. You do a favor for me, I’ll do one for you. Get it?”
“Do one for me,” Yossarian requested.
“Not a chance,” Doc Daneeka answered.

Excerpt 2: (this one is a bit long)

“They’re crazy.”
“Then why don’t you ground them?”
“Why don’t they ask me to ground them?”
“Because they’re crazy, that’s why.”
“Of course they’re crazy,” Doc Daneeka replied. “I just told you they’re crazy , didn’t I? And you can’t let crazy people decide whether you’re crazy or not, can you?”
Yossarian looked at him soberly and tried another approach. “Is Orr crazy?”
“He sure is,” Doc Daneeka said.
“Can you ground him?”
“I sure can. But first he has to ask me to. That’s part of the rule.”
“They why doesn’t he ask you to?”
“Because he’s crazy,” Doc Daneeka said. “He has to be crazy to keep flying combat missions after all the close calls he’s had. Sure, I can ground Orr. But first he has to ask me to.”
“That’s all he has to do to be grounded?”
“That’s all. Let him ask me.”
“And then you can ground him?” Yossarian asked.
“No. Then I can’t ground him.”
“You mean there’s a catch?”
“Sure there’s a catch,” Doc Daneeka replied. “Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn’t really crazy.”
There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one’s own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn’t, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn’t have to; but if he didn’t want to he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle.
“That’s some catch, that Catch-22,” he observed.
“It’s the best there is,” Doc Daneeka agreed.
Yossarian saw it clearly in all its spinning reasonableness…

I know that this book has a draw for a very specific readership, but I am squarely included in that readership and I have thoroughly enjoyed almost every minute of it so far. Hopefully you enjoyed those couple minutes, too.

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The second day of my three-day weekend is coming to a close. I had a productive day, save the fact that the electricity went out last night and my alarm clock didn’t wake me up, causing me to miss church. I’m about 50 pages into Catch-22 and about half way through Good Will Hunting–A Screenplay. I just might finish the screenplay before I go to sleep tonight. It’s a fast, interesting read with a good mix of humor and emotion. Quality writing.

Tomorrow I’m going to dinner with one of the guys that I lived with last summer. I’m pretty excited about catching up with him and seeing how the past few weeks has been treatin’ him. I’m also excited about eating at a nice restaurant, since lunch today was a double quarter-pounder with cheese at McDonald’s. It’s time for me to sleep.

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A good picture of who I am

I just finished sitting in Barnes & Noble reading for about four hours. I started Catch-22 by Joseph Heller and Good Will Hunting–A Screen Play by Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. I also read a book about how now-famous people made their break in the business. Specifically, I read about the guy who wrote and directed Boiler Room and one of the guys who wrote and directed Dumb & Dumber. I have to say that, at the very least, that last reading selection was very inspiring. It reinforced ideas that I had formulated on my own: The best way to break into the Hollywood scene is to write a screenplay–that way, you have something physical to represent yourself and, if you’re fortunate enough to write a good screenplay, you can attach yourself to it as actor, director or whatever, thereby getting some necessary exposure. Also, I realized that my original approach to writing a screenplay was basically correct–write a three-act screenplay characterizing the beginning, middle and end of your story. I’m not sure if this screenwriting stuff is supposed to be intuitive or not, but it seems to be for me; or at least the basics are.

Anyway, I ended up buying Catch-22 and Good Will Hunting… I’m looking forward to finishing them both. I’m about half way through the screenplay and about 30 pages into Catch-22. Both are good reading.

The point of my post, though, was to say that this day is a good picture of who I am. I left Barnes & Noble after four hours, not because I was ready to leave, but because I’m supposed to go play basketball in about a half hour and I needed to come home to change before I went. I guess it just feels strange bolting out of a bookstore to go play basketball. Ironically, I enjoy them both equally and I feel that my time is being productively used in either activity. Time for some ball…

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I finished reading One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest tonight. I can undoubtedly say it is one of the best books I’ve ever read. Why I wasn’t forced to read it in high school is beyond me; of course, now that I think of it, I’m glad I wasn’t forced to read it in high school because having read it now–on my own accord, at my leisure, for my leisure–it was just that much more enjoyable. The most difficult thing is to realize that the Cuckoo’s Nest (at least as it was set in the book) doesn’t actually exist. I feel like Neo waking in the Matrix for the first time, not believing that this is reality and not that world from which he was just re-born. Barring re-reading it, I’ll never see Harding, McMurphy or Nurse Ratched through the big Chief’s eyes again except in my memory. I guess that’s the incredible thing about reading: everything I’ve read is mysteriously catalogued in my brain somewhere, whether it be on this synapse or that, jumping the gap on a neuron or stuck in a cell, next to a ribosome somewhere, it’s there. All the things I’ve learned from my 310 page journey are at my beckon call and all the pages that I turned while imagining something else will disappear into my subconscious. It really is fascinating how a three pound glob of gray matter can do so many fascinating and indescribable things, most of it without my telling it to.

More on One Flew… later.

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