I guess that’s what I get for changing things up…

I wrote a new song tonight and I’m afraid I wish I could un-write it. I like the lyrics, but that’s where my liking ends. I’ve mentioned this before, but I normally start with the guitar part of a song, then figure out a melody, then figure out the lyrics. That’s just how I write music. Tonight, though, I had the brilliant idea of taking a picture in my head and turning it into a song. The result was a song that I like lyrically, but can’t stand melodically or rhythmically. I sound like Frank Sinatra. I don’t have a problem with Frank, but that’s not what I wanna’ sound like.

So, that’s what I did this evening. Well, that and I watched Orange County, which I kinda’ liked if not only for the fact that the lead character is an aspiring writer. That added the element of sympathy to my movie-watching experience and so it wasn’t too bad. I probably wouldn’t recommend the film to anyone, though. It was kinda’ slow and really short. Joe Black was pretty funny, as always, and there were some nice cameos–Chevy Chase, the mom from Home Alone, John WhateverHisNameIs (the dad from Harry and the Hendersons)–but that’s about it.

I’m going to do nothing now.

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Good.

That’s the best descriptor for this evening that I can come up with. I followed the normal routine–go to work, be bored, workout, go home and shower, take an early-evening nap because I’m a lazy bum–but then, something out of the ordinary… My buddy (from Project and with whom I’ve been hanging out all summer) is leaving tomorrow, so we figured we’d go grab some grub at the local joint we always visit (The Big Easy). We did and had a good meal, some solid conversation and several laughs. We were windin’ it down, gettin’ ready to head our separate ways when my buddy spoke the words that were on my mind: You up for goin’ to see the new Austin Powers flick, Goldmember? I’d been thinking that through most of our meal–that I’d like to see that movie and that I thought we’d both get a kick out of it–but decided not to mention it because I knew he had a lot of packing and stuff to take care of before he heads back home for the fall. Turns out he did have a lot of packing and stuff, but he’d rather go see Goldmember.

It was a funny flick. Lot’s a great cameos and an interesting plot-line and, of course, lots of Bond-bashing. Anyway, we enjoyed it, and had some good conversation afterwards. It was refreshing to have some good fellowship this summer. We’ve both been given job-offers at Raytheon, effective as soon as we graduate, so I’d say there’s an outside chance we’ll both end up back here, he working and I being bored.

Now, the summer is coming to a close. Nine days and I’ll be headed for I-20 East and Atlanta and then begins my vacation. I can’t wait, but I’ll have to, if only for a few more days.

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Well, still not much happening…

Things’ve been pretty even-keel for the past several days. Nothing outrageous has happened and, since my most recent little bowling accident, I’ve not done anything completely stupid, so I don’t have any funny stories to tell. I did spend most of the afternoon and evening with a good friend from Project: we watched Shallow Hal, got some grub at a local joint and just sat around talking for a few hours. All in all, it was a very productive, satisfying evening.

Shallow Hal was pretty entertaining, although it feeds on inaccurate stereotypes and is very degrading to women in general. There were some funny parts and, as usual, Joe Black was his wacky, weird self, “George Costanza” (I don’t know his real name) was irrational and ridiculous, and Gwyneth Paltrow lit up the screen. I guess it was a good commentary on how superficial people can be, but the irony was that the whole movie preyed on the very stereotypes from which it seemed to be trying to save its audience. Maybe they meant to do that…

The local joint mentioned earlier is called The Big Easy, not to be mistaken with the movie or the Cajun food chain, called Big Easy Cajun. It’s good food–big sandwiches and an endless supply of Dr. Pepper on tap–and a nice environment for just chilling and killin’ time. My buddy and I sat at our usual table by the window where he has a view and I get to see the window’s frame and a few parked cars. I don’t mind it, though, because there’re less distractions for me and I can focus on the conversation. We both don’t mind speaking our minds, so that leads to very informative, challenging conversation, rather than the kind of conversation that people have when both parties are afraid to offend the other or dispute anything they might say. It’s refreshing to be able to be genuine and honest.

After the dinner and Shallow Hal watching, my buddy and I sat around and chatted, mostly about different Biblical issues–What is ‘reformed’?, What do you think about those who say, ‘You’re not ready for a dating relationship until you’re approaching Holiness and totally right with the Lord.‘?–and just what’s been going on with us over the summer. We talked about heading back to school as fifth year guys and what we’re looking forward to and dreading. We spent a good amount of time talking about basketball–I talking more than he–and how I regret not playing in high school. He played in high school, so I guess maybe I lived vicariously for a few moments as he talked about his role on the team and whatnot.

I also bought a new CD yesterday–The Dave Matthews Band’s Busted Stuff. I guess that probably seems ordinary for most, but for me it’s extraordinary. That was the first album I’d bought in almost four years, thanks to the internet and my shallow wallet. I’m a big music recommender, so I usually download music, give it a listen and then share the music with friends, via recommendation. I may not have bought many albums, but I’ve been cause for many people buying many albums. Welcome to Josh rationalizes internet music piracy. Thanks for coming.

Anyway, it’s a great album; very organic and musical as opposed to their previous album, Everyday, which, in my opinion, was one of the most awful albums ever recorded. Busted Stuff is refreshing and is good quality music. All five band members are ever-present on the album, some laying down more than one track (Dave plays multiple guitar tracks on several songs) and it’s good to hear The Band exploring music themselves rather than bringing in guest artists to fill the voids. Anyway, that’s what’s in my CD player right now and it’ll probably be there for a while.

My guitar is calling me (it’s voice is audible only to my ears and says things like, “You’ve been neglecting me!” and “You just don’t love me anymore!”) and so I must go. As all other relationships, mine with my guitar requires time, which I haven’t been investing lately. “It’s me, not you…”, I say.

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Bowl-o-bomba

Yeah, I went again tonight. All I have to show for it is a blister on my thumb and a tweaked bowling ball, courtesy of Mike in the Pro-Shop. Mike was really nice. My first game was great–lots of strikes, only three open frames and a mediocre score of 159. Everything was downhill from there. I didn’t record the scores because I didn’t want to remember them, but suffice it to say they were awful and for no good reason. I guess I didn’t every really get comfortable and that was probably my biggest problem. I usually find “my spot” and make decent marks from then on. That never happened tonight. The good news, though, is that I found an e-coupon for buy one, get one free games at the bowling alley I usually patronize. So, I bowled six games tonight for a measly eleven dollars. What’s more, there’s no expiration date or limit to the number of these things I can use. Soo as my thumb-blister heals, I’ll be back there, pressing my luck and hoping for more free bowling.

Anyway, I watched the I Am Sam DVD again tonight and I’m even more convinced that Sean Penn was robbed at the Oscars this year. I just don’t get it. The man does a fantastic job of portraying a difficult character and he gets nothing for it. Anyway, it’s an incredible movie and I highly recommend it to anyone.

I bought a new book tonight: A Prayer For Owen Meany, by John Irving. One of my English teachers from high school recommended it, so I went and got it. I guess I can add that to the list of books I�m currently reading and I’ll see how long I can continue reading multiple books simultaneously before my brain pops. For now, things are going well and there’s no sign of an impending aneurysm, so I think I’ll be all right.

I get to sleep in tomorrow… today.

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Rushmore

A friend and I watched Rushmore tonight. I really appreciate the dry, dark comedy that this movie emanates. Bill Murray just oozes control in every scene. I’m hoping that the movie I’m beginning to write can reflect just a little of the sort of genius that created this movie. I’m not saying it’s the best movie I’ve ever seen, but it does get huge points for originality and style. I didn’t read any of my books today, but I plan on getting a good deal of reading done tomorrow. Although, I was invited to a pool/apartment-complex party, so I might spend some time relaxing and catchin’ some rays.

“Oh, are they?”–Max Fischer in Rushmore

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Passing GO

That’s what I spent a few hours doing today. Often, I actually landed on GO and scored an extra hundred bucks in addition to the two hundred that is already awarded to a GO-passer. It’d been a long time since I played Monopoly and I really enjoyed it. I played with an old Project roommate of mine and his brother. We ended up in a draw–my friend’s brother dropped out relatively early, mostly because he just wasn’t getting lucky; I seemed to be the late-thriving underdog as I managed to grab a couple of monopolies late in the game that were key; my friend had a couple monopolies–notably the Park Place/Boardwalk duo–because my friend and I simply kept exchanging money as we landed on each other’s hotels. I think, all in all, the game only lasted a couple hours or so. It wasn’t a marathon by any means, but it certainly quenched my thirst–assuming I had one–for Monopoly for a time.

Anyhow, I also had a good time of movie-watching and relaxing. I watched The Others with Nicole Kidman and some little kids. It was alright and I certainly didn’t see the twist at the end coming, but it wasn’t my kind of movie. I don’t want to talk about that anymore.

I spoke with a good friend of mine at length this evening and the conversation was very encouraging. I’m beginning to realize that the friendships which I hold most dear will require much effort to sustain as I near graduation and others pass it. I hope I have the drive to do my best to maintain those friendships.

I’m going to slack some more now. I like slacking and I feel very motivated to do just that.

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Saw The Sum of All Fears tonight

I simply wasn’t all that impressed. I know it has to be difficult shrinking a full-length novel into a two-hour movie, but this one just didn’t do it for me. The plot seemed to move slowly considering the amount of action in the film and much of the dialogue was severely lacking in meaningful content. I guess it ended well, but I ultimately wasn’t the least bit impressed. That’s all I have to say about that.

Hopefully, I’ll be able to record Kids Today tomorrow (I am too tired to say anything clever about the juxtaposition of those words, so I’ll just leave it alone). I’m looking forward to hearing a finished product because the song is different than any I’ve done thus far. Specifically, it is different lyrically and melodically. Rhythmically, it’s similar to other stuff I’ve done. I am pretty sure this is my first full-blown social commentary and it’s nice to have a song that is written a little less personally and a little more universally. At any rate, if I do get the track finished, I’ll put it on my FTP server shortly thereafter.

I’m hoping to make some progress on my screenplay tomorrow. I’ve spent some time this week, fleshing out the characters–I feel that I need to invest a good amount of time making the characters as real as possible before I try and assemble a script–after all, this is going to be a character based movie, in spite of the warnings I’ve read that character based movies don’t fare well in American cinema. I love the thrill of trying something totally different than anything I’ve ever done before. Sure, I’ve written poetry and some prose and some music, but I’ve never attempted anything of this magnitude. The worst I could do is fail and that isn’t so bad because it’ll leave me with hopes of pursuing a musical career or, at the very worst, working as an engineer. I can think of much worse positions in which to be.

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Went to see Insomnia tonight

Let it be known that I’m biased because Robin Williams and Al Pacino are two of my favorite actors. Particularly Robin Williams. Anyway, it was a good thriller–well worth my five bucks (or whatever I paid… I used a credit card and I’ve long since stopped listening to the clerk when he tells me how much he’s about to run my card for. I simply say “okay” and sign the slip by the X). Robin did a quality job of playing a deranged, but seemingly sane killer; Pacino did a good job of playing the good guy. I really like what the writer–Hellen somebody–did with the idea of a hero in the movie. That’s all I’ll be saying about that.

I wasn’t expecting to go to a movie tonight, but my friend suggested it after we finished grubbin’ at a place called Big Easy. Now, this place isn’t associated with Big Easy Cajun or the movie by its own namesake. It’s apparently a chain that attempts to mimic “French Quarter” dining. It was good eatin’ and they sell mammoth sandwiches at a decent price. I was full for under six bucks. But I digress. I had a great time with my buddy and we enjoyed excellent dining and superb conversation. It was nice getting caught up. I think we’re going to try and get to Tommy Nelson’s church, Denton Bible, next Sunday. It’s about 30 or 45 minutes away, but it’ll be well worth it, I’m sure.

Memorial Day

I better wrap this up. My three-day weekend has officially begun winding down and I have to get up early tomorrow for work. Also, I need to say that today was Memorial Day and if there is anyone reading this who hasn’t said a prayer of thanks for all those who have given their lives to defend our freedom as Americans, I suggest you may take a moment and do so. I only hope I one day have an inkling of the courage that those men demonstrate moment by moment.

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I saw Episode II: Attack of the Clones today

That pretty much sums up the whole day. Yeah, I “worked” for about seven hours, but aside from that and my three hours at the movie theatre, I did nothing today. The flick was pretty good, but I’m just not a Star Wars kinda’ guy, so it didn’t really float my boat. I’d say the first 90 minutes was too slow, but in all fairness, the last 45 minutes or so were solid and enjoyable to watch. I guess I dig movies that make me think a bit more. In fact, I’ll just go ahead and say it, sci-fi isn’t my thing at all. I’ve never liked it much and probably never will. I’d say the one glaring exception to that is The Matrix, which I think is a good, solid movie.

Anyway, I think I’m turning in early tonight in hopes that tomorrow can be a productive, relaxing day. I plan on checking out a sale at The Guitar Center, picking up an anlke brace, getting a haircut–always a disappointment–and hittin’ the gym for a bit. For now though, the sheets await.

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Tonight seemed to be the finale of the semester. A huge group of us got together and went to see the 12:45 am showing of Spider-Man. I’ve never been a huge comic book fan, but I did enjoy them on occasion when I was a kid. And, in spite of my ignorance regarding comics in general and Spider-Man in specific, I thought it was an excellent movie. The plot, in and of itself, was nothing spectacular–it’s based on a comic book series and, at least to me, comic book plots seem to follow a pretty universal boilerplate–but the catharsis that the flick brought with it was pretty powerful. It evoked emotions one after another–empathy, sorrow, joy, happiness, disappointment–and hardly ever missed a beat. I was fairly impressed with the amount of character development that was accomplished during the lifetime of such a seemingly short film. The romantic aspect was intense, but not overpowering and I think that was a key its overall appeal.

In fact, I’d say the romantic theme got me to thinking a bit. Nothing too deep, of course, just a little something that, although I’ve thought of it before, I never really allowed myself to ponder it at length. Obviously, since the movie ended only a half hour ago, I still haven’t had much time for deep reflection on this, but I feel I should sketch it nonetheless. Essentially, it goes like this: What kind of woman will like me for me? The question sounds simple, but that’s because the only person reading this who really knows me is myself. I have thousands of quirks, hundreds of personality traits–some strong, some subtle–and countless aspects of my thoughts, past, abilities, experiences and intangibles blend together to make me who I am. I’ve tried picturing the kind of woman that might be drawn to who I am and I can’t do it. I often add bits to my mental, multi-dimensional sketch of the woman I’d like to spend the rest of my life with, but I fail to see how any woman could possibly be sketching something like that, which looks like me. I guess that’s because I feel that I’m ultimately so different than anyone else. I don’t think like other people–not to say that I think “worse” or “better” than others because I’m not convinced that such a qualitative description of one’s thoughts is possible–nor do I act like other people. I tend to get along with people well, but I often wonder if I’m more of a chameleon than a friend. A pretender. And I realize that maybe I don’t even know myself as well as I think I do, but I have to assume that I at least know me better than anyone else.

I’m not sure what my point is. I think maybe I’m suffering from a severe case of curiosity, or wonderment. I just don’t know what to think… so I guess I’ll stop that for now.

Tomorrow’s a big day, mostly involving a lot of packing. I’ll be in Jacksonville in 36 hours and then off to Dallas in less than 24 hours. Things are moving so quickly my head is beginning to spin and I’m afraid that means I might forget something or leave something undone or forget to tie up a loose end. I hope not, but I’m anticipating I will. Hopefully, my life will calm down a bit in the next two weeks or so. By then, I should be settled into my new, temporary home and working a steady job with little to no free-time. I’ll be at the gym almost daily and resting or playing the guitar the rest of the time. As monotonous as it sounds, I’m looking forward to the chance to relax and take a breather from the fast-paced life of the college kid. It’s fun, but it sure can wear on me sometimes–especially this time of the year when I’ve been in school for nine months with little break time and much studying and work. Summer break, here I come.

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